Sex Humor Quotes

I tried phone sex - it gave me an ear infection.

In your thirties, you're much more comfortable with sex. First of all, sex is something you've done more. You know you can have sex just to have sex; you can have sex with friends; you can have sex with people you love; you can have sex with people you don't like, but the sex is good. And you can joke about sex much more.

Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".

Sex is always funny. I don't find it sexy, I find it really horrifying. But it's an act that we need. And that need, that desire, is what makes it really funny.

Valentines day are coming up and a German company has made chokolate in shapes of couples making love. I don't like them... I don't want my chokolate to have more fun than me.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.

Nope, no sex scandals yet. But I am open to offers!

The physical mechanics of sex are pretty funny unless you are engaged in them. Then they are, of course, marvelous.

You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

If you can't laugh about sex, you shouldn't be doing it.

Sex is hard to write about because you lose the universal and succumb to the particular. We all have our different favorites. Good sex is impossible to write about. Lawrence and Updike have given it their all, and the result is still uneasy and unsure. It may be that good sex is something fiction just can't do - like dreams. Most of the sex in my novels is absolutely disastrous. Sex can be funny, but not very sexy.

That's actually kind of scary. Sex with a mime. Do I have to pay extra to make sure you don't do the trapped-in-a-box thing while we're doing it?

People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex usually turn out to be, like, eighty. And their letters always end with, "Just joking."