I think my biggest heartbreak was when I just couldn't get an American cheese cake/pie with a saltine cracker crust and green tomato sorbet to work out in my favor.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen
There is no screenplay-writing recipe that guarantees your cake will rise.
If you're cooking for someone important - whether it's your boss or a date - never try a new recipe and a new ingredient at the same time.
I am the worst cook. I make a mess making a bowl of cereal... like, I'm just such a klutz in the kitchen.
I quite enjoy cooking but I'm not consistent. I can't follow the recipe book. If something goes well, I'll never make it again, which is completely stupid. It's a one-shot kind of deal.
I am a very bad cook.
Many people struggle to make hummus that lives up to their expectations at home, and recreating a favourite brand or the stuff from your local deli is almost impossible.
The first recipe I made was a disaster. I'd been chopping and pressing dates to create a raw brownie, and I thought it would work even better if I blended them in a food processor. So I went and bought one specially. When my boyfriend at the time came over to try the results, he took one bite and spat it out - I'd left the plastic on the blades.
Instead of staying strong and working through when times are really tough, I usually quit this recipe for failure and start a whole new recipe. So if something is too challenging, I tend to chalk it up as not a good fit, and move on to something else.
I took a cookery course. On the examination, I had to cook a cheese omelet with peas and an egg custard. With the egg custard, which was supposed to be a dessert, I forget to put the sugar in, so that's more of a quiche, isn't it?
I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.
I can't cook to save my life. I'm a disaster.
Everything I touched in the kitchen turned out crappy, no matter how closely I followed the recipe or copied the cooking show.
I cannot cook to save my life. I'm really frighteningly useless, when you get down to it.
Some of the best kitchen discoveries come about through total kitchen disasters.
A cookbook is only as good as its poorest recipe.
