Ella Woodward Quotes

I am the worst cook. I make a mess making a bowl of cereal... like, I'm just such a klutz in the kitchen.

As a self-proclaimed cooking disaster, I try to makes things that I think I can easily master.

I can't cook to save my life. I'm a disaster.

She did not so much cook as assassinate food.

One day Mum saved up for this exciting new thing - a frozen chicken. She cooked it on the Sunday and we all sat around waiting for it, but there was a terrible smell from the kitchen. She didn't realise that the giblets were in a plastic bag inside it. We just ate vegetables and she cried and cried.

Everybody's eating all my - brownies, granola, anything you eat cooked, I can find you raw.

Are you kidding? I'm a terrible cook, but John is a really great one. Literally, I never cook. The whole time we were dating, I prepared two officially romantic meals. Both of them were such disasters that he begs me never to go into the kitchen again.

I did an O-level in domestic science when I was at school, but on the day of the practical exam, it was a cookery nightmare.

I cannot cook to save my life. I'm really frighteningly useless, when you get down to it.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

There's not much cooking in our household. We do a lot of raw food, so it's more about putting the right ingredients together to create something scrumptious.

No one asks the cow or the chicken where it gets its protein. I eat about 4,000 or 5,000 calories a day, and I cook for myself. I also have a line of cooks that work with me - some raw, some vegan.

As I see it, a green salad is an open invitation to carrots, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, and the sprouts that grow in jars on my kitchen counter.

When I was 13 or 14, my parents had a bit of a windfall so bought a lovely new kitchen, but I burnt it down. I was making cheese on toast when flames escaped from the grill. My father stopped the fire with blind panic and excessive water. I was forgiven, but it put me off cooking for years.

I know it sounds funny, but every time I have a disaster in the kitchen, it knocks my confidence level a little bit more, and I feel annoyed with myself that I can't do better.

I took a cookery course. On the examination, I had to cook a cheese omelet with peas and an egg custard. With the egg custard, which was supposed to be a dessert, I forget to put the sugar in, so that's more of a quiche, isn't it?

The first time I was cooking for my wife, Stephanie, way before she was my wife, I actually put three chickens on the rotisserie and I closed the grill, which is really a bad idea. But I just wasn't thinking very straight that day. And I looked outside and I saw, like, smoke and flames.

If I walked into a restaurant, the other diners would look around and say, 'I hope you're not cooking.'

Some of the best kitchen discoveries come about through total kitchen disasters.

When there is a choice, it is best to eat live vegetarian food. 'Live' means in its uncooked condition, because a live cell has everything in itself to sustain life. The idea is to take life into you. When we cook food, it destroys the life in it.

I think my biggest heartbreak was when I just couldn't get an American cheese cake/pie with a saltine cracker crust and green tomato sorbet to work out in my favor.

Part of being a really good chef or cook is being able to fix disasters.

My mom wasn't a good cook. No, that was an understatement. She was really horrible. And in a Chinese family, that's a disaster.

A successful shrimp boil requires layering ingredients into the pot so that everything is done cooking at once. A carefully timed choreography dictates the order in which ingredients are added to ensure no one has to eat raw potatoes or chewy shrimp.

Molly was committing dinner by that time, aided and abetted by Sanya, who seemed to take some kind of grim Russian delight in watching train wrecks in progress.