I'm a professional hanger outer. I'm a super liability, too. I joke around, and I'm like a hyperactive child.
I rarely joke unless I'm in front of a camera. It's not what I am in real life. It's what I do for a living.
Obviously I'm a lawyer; I like to have cases.
I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.
When I first started doing these roasts in the mid '90s, they were a lost art, like jousting or calligraphy. But I feel like roasts help tame the room and let off steam... It's like it's all being handled by professionals.
Everybody tells jokes, but we still need comedians.
Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.
Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.
You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check.
As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing that, we're joking.
I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don't think they're funny and the non-lawyers don't think they're jokes.
An uncontrolled sense of humor is often costly in business.
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” “I don’t know. How many?” “Eight.” “Why?” “Oh, stop overanalyzing it.
