Pregnancy Humor Quotes

It's very rare and unusual to see a female comic perform pregnant.

People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it's because you're sweating to death.

My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'

When I got pregnant with my first child, I gained nearly 5st. I did a bit of pretending: 'I'm just really small, so I just put on a lot of weight when I'm pregnant.' That is true, but I also ate a lot of cake.

There was a certain history to this. While heavily pregnant with Amelia, she had asked him if she was radiant or if she just looked like a waddling duck. He told her she’d looked like a radiant duck. This had not been the correct answer.

You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one.

I moved up beside Jamie."I have to go." She frowned at me. "Where?" I pressed a hand to the bottom of my belly. "My bladder.It-" Ah." She gave a small laugh. "We interrupt this life-or-death situation for a pregnancy pee break. Don't see that in the movies, do you?

Where did you go?" "To the end of the driveway," my mother says. "I was nine months pregnant; that was the maximum distance I could waddle without feeling as if my uterus was falling out." I wince. "Do you have to be quite so graphic?" "What would you like me to call it, Zoe? A fetal living room?

I just thought that a naked pregnant woman checking herself out would be so funny. I actually wish there was more of it. An actually, it was my idea to put it in, because I just remember being pregnant and just marveling at the hugeness of my body, like looking in the mirror from all angles. But that's something you do privately.

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.

Of my own, I like my upper stomach. I just seem to always have abs.When I'm not really pregnant, I have a great two-pack.