I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
I recall my mum tried to teach me how to fry chicken once, and I almost burned down half the kitchen... I don't think I have the patience for cooking.
There is an old story that says that Julia Child dropped a chicken on the floor when she was filming 'The French Chef.' And then - that, in fact, is not true. She just, you know, dropped some potatoes she was trying to flip in a pan.
I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.
I thought I was raptured up into the air today; turns out, it was just my gas oven exploding.
I took a cookery course. On the examination, I had to cook a cheese omelet with peas and an egg custard. With the egg custard, which was supposed to be a dessert, I forget to put the sugar in, so that's more of a quiche, isn't it?
Burning dinner is not incompetence but war.
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
