Cooking Disaster Quotes

I have my great grandmother's recipe for black beans, all the way from Cuba, and I know how to make those. I'm actually pretty good at it now. But my first time, the beans actually exploded in the pot, so I had black beans just dripping from the ceiling - which is actually a dream come true for most Cubans. It was a nightmare to clean.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My mom wasn't a good cook. No, that was an understatement. She was really horrible. And in a Chinese family, that's a disaster.

I recall my mum tried to teach me how to fry chicken once, and I almost burned down half the kitchen... I don't think I have the patience for cooking.

My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.

I'm a terrible cook. I am not allowed to go in the kitchen anymore after I almost burned down the apartment in New York.

Burning dinner is not incompetence but war.

But don't blame me for the food. My wife knows a hundred and one ways to incinerate a cow, and as far as I can tell she's still experimenting.

A number of anxious dwarfs trying to grill a whale.

I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days.