Illogical Statement Quotes

The egg cackles and lays the chicken.

I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all.

I call it... the hot dog tree, because... it's a hot dog tree.

I can clap with one hand.

If a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't bump his behind every time he hopped.

"It's very good jam," said the Queen. "Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate." "You couldn't have it if you did want it," the Queen said. "The rule is jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam to-day." "It must come sometimes to "jam to-day,""Alice objected. "No it can't," said the Queen. "It's jam every other day; to-day isn't any other day, you know." "I don't understand you," said Alice. "It's dreadfully confusing."

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.

"Well, I never heard it before," said the Mock Turtle; "but it sounds uncommon nonsense."

Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.

The whole notion of an alternative truth is a paradox. How can you have an alternative to truth?

Who's Myrnin?" Claire controlled an urge to roll her eyes. "Badass crazy vampire scientist who's my boss." "You realize no part of that sentence made sense, right?

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Adrian sifted through the bags and pulled out a slice of coconut cream. "If I were a dragon, this is what I'd go for." I didn't argue, mainly because that statement had no logical argument.