Humorous Observation Quotes

I live in Florida and people are crazy here. And I say that lovingly.

I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.

When your mother starts using the word "party" as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.

I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse print on the hood of the ambulance. And I thought, Well, isn't that clever. I look in the rear-view mirror; I can read the word ambulance behind me. Of course while you're reading, you don't see where you're going, you crash. You need an ambulance. I think they're trying to drum up some business on the way back from lunch.

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

Come to think of it, just about every tool was shaped like either a weenie or a pistol, depending on your point of view.

I love New York, but I wish they wouldn't put clothes on their dogs.

I used to look at these pictures of trumpeters pointing their instrument to the ceiling. Stunning pictures, but if you play the trumpet and point it upwards, all the spit comes back into your mouth!