Celebrity Roast Quotes

I remember, after the Pamela Anderson roast, being told, 'You're sold out - you can add two more shows.'

As I get older, I think I'm more interested in comedy that doesn't take cheap shots. But I watched some of that Justin Bieber "roast" and I thought it was hilarious.

As soon as a roast is announced, I get everybody - family, friends, waitresses, cab drivers - giving me jokes about the person getting roasted. I'm the mouthpiece for the masses.

It really is great. Especially having people who we make fun every week come on and poke fun at themselves is really cool, I love that. No reality star has been mad at me yet for making fun of them. I'm sure that one day soon though, someone is going to take a swing at me.

When I had my Comedy Central roast, David [Spade] was my first choice to be roastmaster, because I adore him. He's funny as hell, and nobody is meaner.

Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.

I've known Lisa Lampanelli for quite some time. We did the Shatner roast together. Lisa didn't know Shatner, but she's a popular roaster, so she was invited to do it, and she is fantastic. Actually, despite her public image, she's a very sweet lady and very sensitive. She cries very easily. Most people don't know that.

I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead; I don't know.

Billy Crystal... I crap bigger than him.

Jeff Ross has been roasting people since Whitney Cummings was nothing but a glint in the eye of the man who raped her mother.