When I was arrested I was dressed in black
I'm supposed to say, Bill O'Reilly, that's immoral - click - and then walk back in and book his A block the next day and have a fine day and everything be kosher? I don't think so.
To book commercials, you do something to get to a callback, and once you get to the callback, you've got three minutes to get the people to want to hang out with you for a day.
See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
Any club has more than enough comics, so if you're not there every night talking to the booker, you're not going to get on. You have to be there more than they are.
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Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how to get ink off your fingers using seltzer water and lemon juice.
Can't do any work with a rock star; you have to go through their lawyers and their agents and their managers and you have to book them hotel rooms. When you work with your friends, you just call them up and they come over and you record and then you go out to see a movie.
Each week we usually have one person who's never done the show before. Last year we had close to 60 who'd never done the show before. We're constantly booking new people, sometimes to the consternation of people who live here who do the show regularly.
If I had a picture of two handcuffed criminals being booked, I would cut the picture in half and get five bucks for each.
