Louis C. K. Quotes

My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.

I love my kids, they are amazing children, but they drive me bananas sometimes. And sometimes, I want to sell them on eBay... but I'm not going to.

Taking a child to the toy store is the nearest thing to a death wish parents can have.

It drives me absolutely crazy when my kids fight - the sound of them fighting and not getting along.

I have never looked at a child and been so angry that I flipped out.

All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem.

My children weary me. I can only see them as defective adults: feckless, destructive, frivolous, sensual, humorless.

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

~We were on a family trip to Death Valley, and there were moments when my husband and I wanted to just leave the kids there - all the whining! You think that no other kid can do it as much as yours. When they're with friends, they're great; when they're in the car with just the family, it's maddening at times. But you adore them anyway.~

Talking to mothers, always brings it home because they're so anxious to do everything they can for their kids and so tragic for them.

I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I bought one the other day. Well, a few minutes later, I was on a plane and this little kid was kicking my seat repeatedly, while his sister sang along with her walkman and their mother just sat there. I almost turned around and went off, and then I caught sight of my bracelet. What would Jesus do? So I lit them on fire and sent them all to Hell.

Our mother gives us our earliest lessons in love- and its partner, hate. Our father-our "second other"-elaborates on them.

A light was on in the kitchen. His mother sat at the kitchen table, as still as a statue. Her hands were clasped together, and she stared fixatedly at a small stain on the tablecloth. Gregor remembered seeing her that way so many nights after his dad had disappeared. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to scare her or shock her or ever give her any more pain. So, he stepped into the light of the kitchen and said the one thing he knew she wanted to hear most in the world. "Hey, Mom. We're home.

I was very much in my own world, never the popular kid. But I had a great family, a great brother and mother.

I'd hate to have a kid like me.

As a mother, the one thing that always goes through your head is, You're never enough. You never can be enough - or do enough - for your kids. It's a never-ending issue for me. I had to learn: Don't beat yourself up so much.... You have to take it one day at a time, do the best that you can and enjoy yourself. I notice that if there are some times I've been stressed, because I'm human and stress about things, that affects your kids. So you have to make sure you're a happy mom so they can be happy.

Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who's knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that's some kind of record.

I hate it when I go out and I see parents going, 'don't do that', or 'stop doing that' when some kid's just hanging off a staircase or something. There's too much of this, 'don't do that'. The whole thing baffles me.

I would just go in my room and just scream out of anger because I didn't understand how a person could be so vicious and mean.

The only way that a mother would go after her own children is if she's just completely gone and has no humanity.

Children: a torment and nothing more.

That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killing herself.

Students, eh? Love 'em or hate 'em, you can't hit them with a shovel!

As a mother, the one thing that always goes through your head is, You're never enough. You never can be enough - or do enough - for your kids. It's a never-ending issue for me.

I went into designing my house thinking I could have some more expensive items because I didn't realize my kids were going to be animals.