Bob Uecker Quotes

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

I'm not a great believer in awards-of course the fact that I've never won one has nothing to do with it at all!

I'll never get a Humanitas Award, but I'll have fun.

Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award.

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.

I have never won a single award - National or Filmfare - and I just hope they don't give me a Lifetime Achievement Award because I won't accept it.

I think all major league players dream of being named MVP.

I played good ball in the minor leagues, and that's why they called me up to the major leagues.

I have never struggled, and I have never done anything.

Not only was I not the best catcher in the Major Leagues, I wasn't even the best catcher on my street!

After I got that hit off Satchel (Paige), I knew I was ready for the big leagues.

Nothing flatters me more than to have it assumed that I could write prose, unless it be to have it assumed that I once pitched a baseball with distinction.

I'm clearly not an international man of mystery.

I haven't got many awards to boast of.

I'm playing in the World Series. Can't get any better than this.

I was funny -- ha-ha, not peculiar. It was a modest currency, like pennies: pedestrian, somewhat laborious, but a currency nonetheless. I was funny, in public, most often at my own expense.

I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.

Having waited my entire life to get an award for something, anything...I now get awards all the time for being mentally ill. It’s better than being bad at being insane, right? How tragic would it be to be runner-up for Bipolar Woman of the Year?

A lot of people are going around saying, 'You won the Academy Award for such and such.' 'No. I didn't.' 'You didn't?' 'Well, you should have.'

At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit.

Comedians don't get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can't really speak about the Oscar-worthiness of my own performance.

I love an act that makes fun of the situation, and of course makes fun of yourself. That's important, you can't take yourself too seriously.

I'm a bit retarded, like most Americans.

At John Schlesinger's funeral at a synagogue in St John's Wood some years ago the person I stood next to said to me encouragingly, 'Come on, Stephen - you're not singing. Have a go!' 'Believe me, Paul, you don't want me to,' I said. Besides, I was having a much better time listening to him. 'No. Go on!' So I joined in the chorus. 'You're right,' Paul McCartney conceded. 'You can't sing.

Well, when I was six years old I decided, not that I was going to be, but with my usual modesty, that I was a writer.