JOE GARAGIOLA

The Orioles' Dick Hall comes off the mound like a drunk kangaroo on roller skates.

Baseball is a game of race, creed, and color. The race is to first base. The creed is the rules of the game. The color? Well, the home team wears white uniforms, and the visiting team wears gray.

I went through baseball as 'a player to be named later.'

Nolan Ryan is pitching much better now that he has his curve ball straightened out.

It's pitching, hitting and defense that wins. Any two can win. All three make you unbeatable.

Baseball is drama with an endless run and an ever-changing cast.

I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought you ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.

I always loved the signs on the outfield walls, and I'll never forget the one in Philadelphia. It said, 'The Phillies use Lifebuoy soap,' and underneath was scrawled, 'And they still stink.'

The catcher is a groundhog. He's a guy squatting down, digging for the ball in the dirt, and sweating under a pile of uncomfortable protective gear while his knees creak.

All the 'Today show' viewer wants, I think, is a friendly face.

I'm a small dog guy. I don't want to be pattin' with the big Rottweiler or Great Dane. I like those little guys that jump on your lap and don't knock you over when they do.

I know nothing about dogs except that I love them.

As a catcher, you can't be afraid. You gotta make fast decisions.

You can call anything a sport if you want.

I only wear two rings: a wedding ring and my World Series ring.

Catchers just aren't glamorous.

You have to retire before you can make the Hall of Fame.

I think that baseball is still the most entertaining game because it's the simplest to watch.

Not only was I not the best catcher in the Major Leagues, I wasn't even the best catcher on my street!

Billy Loes was the only player in the majors who could lose a ground ball in the sun

The Chicago Cubs are like Rush Street-a lot of singles, but no action.

Never trust a baserunner with a limp. Comes a base hit and you'll think he just got back from Lourdes.

He's one of those Christmas Eve guys. There are people like that... every day in their lives is Christmas Eve.

Don't be afraid to fail. Experience is just mistakes you don't make anymore.