Chris Rock Quotes

I want to make people think, and I don't want to come across like I am egotistical or that I want to change people's thoughts. I don't believe that as a comic I can convert anyone's opinion. I think I can maybe make someone look in one direction or the other but I can't make a religious person stop believing in God.

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

Doug Motel makes 'conscious comedy'. He makes me laugh, and he makes me think.

I wanted to be an attorney. My mother would say I never stopped talking. I always had a lot of questions to ask, and I was never satisfied with the answer. A lot of things I wasn't satisfied by.

I'm a sponge. I'm obsessed with comedy. I'm obsessed with the idea that you can make somebody laugh, and I love to be around people who can make other people laugh.

I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Because of their very nature, science and logical thinking can never decide what is possible or impossible. Their only function is to explain what has been ascertained by experience and observation.

These two rational faculties may be designated the Scientific Faculty and the Calculative Faculty respectively; since calculation is the same as deliberation, and deliberation is never exercised about things that are invariable, so that the Calculative Faculty is a separate part of the rational half of the soul.

Reason is non-negotiable. Try to argue against it, or to exclude it from some realm of knowledge, and you've already lost the argument, because you're using reason to make your case. ... We don't "believe" in reason.

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.

I believe I am God's favorite comedian. I think he is a really big comedy writer. He writes scripts. And I just follow along.

If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, 'You guys want anything?'' That's a joke. I can't believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.

I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.

The answer is inside your head; it's easy to find if you take it logically.

I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.

I make people laugh for a living. I believe I can say objectively that what I do I do as well as anybody. Just say I'm one of the best broken field runners that ever lived. For 35 years I was a cult hero, an underground funny.

The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form.

A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.

'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.

Do you guys like impressions? "Why?" That was Socrates.

I do not call reason that brutal reason which crushes with its weight what is holy and sacred, that malignant reason which delights in the errors it succeeds in discovering, that unfeeling and scornful reason which insults credulity.

They're the darkest people I know, comedians.

There are good reasons why everybody should heed politicians' advise not to believe the media. One of the best is that the media report what politicians say.