Greg Giraldo Quotes

I'm too tall. I am 6ft 7in, so I've been most people's height at some point in my life, and 6ft 4in is the best. You're tall, but you don't have to bend when you go through a door.

I always wanted to be a character when I worked at Disney, but I wasn't short enough for certain characters, and I wasn't tall enough for others.

A lot of people see somebody who has one hand and not two, and they think it doesn't make sense. It's like, 'He has one hand, so how can he play football?' What if I say, 'You have two hands. How can you play football?'

If I could not walk far and fast, I think I should just explode and perish.

I think it can be shown that the law makes ten criminals where it restrains one.

Don't think you can...know you can! Your human body is the most impressive tool that you will ever own. Even if you can't control everything...you can always control something. Your body - Use it...Amuse it...because one day...you're going to lose it.

And if you have a law that isn't working, and you have thousands and thousands and millions of people, then the terrorists hide among them. And we have to have a law that makes sense.

No woman should ever lift more than 3lbs

Whenever there's an act of terror, its guns, its Christians, it's republicans, but the FBI can't say Islamism because it's too politically incorrect. And nobody wants to lose their job, it comes from the top. I think they lack the manpower to do their jobs. It's not about changing the FBI; it's about changing the way they do business.

We also have to recognize, in addition to the challenges that we face with policing, there are so many good, brave police officers who equally want reform.

My feet, they haul me Round the House, They hoist me up the Stairs; I only have to steer them, and They Ride me Everywheres.

It is a paradox to say the human body has no 'limit.' There must be a limit to the speed at which men can run. I feel this may be around 3:30 for the mile. However, another paradox remains - if an athlete manages to run 3:30, another runner could be found to marginally improve on that time.

There is no tougher job in America than being a cop on the beat in a major city in this country, big and brawling.

You can't run forever. There's only so much pavement that the road makers lay down. After a while, the highway quits going north and it just turns into sky. And you can't go anywhere in the sky unless you have a plane or some kind of rocket.

One thing I have always been is too short. It's adorable when you're in junior high. After that, it's a pain in the ass for the rest of your life.

If I'm a criminal, and I'm confronted with a 7-foot tall cop and an albino cop, I'm gonna be so lost, I'm spilling my guts.

Talking of the local Sheriff, Jake Valentine, tall and skinny and his wife Myra, "She was a short woman, maybe five feet tall in her socks, the top of her head not quite reaching Jake's chest. What she lacked in height she made up for in girth. Jeffrey guessed she was at least a hundred pounds overweight. Standing side by side, the Valentines looked like the living embodiment of the number ten.

Each system will depend on resources available, not from the bottom up or top down. In other words, if you put 500 passengers in an airplane that's designed to carry 100, it won't get off the ground. So all decisions are made based upon the physical equipment you're working with, or the environmental resources available. They're not made by Fresco or any other person. They're arrived at by studies and research.

The things that stop you having sex with age are exactly the same as those that stop you riding a bicycle.

The guts carry the feet, not the feet the guts.

you got two feet, Sethe, not four." he said, and right then a forest sprang up between them; tactless and quiet.

You're always going to be struggling if you haven't got a left foot.

I'm not only my spirit buy my body, and who can decide how much I, my individual self, am conditioned by the accident of my body? Would Byron have been Byron but for his club foot, or Dostoyevsky Dostoyevsky without his epilepsy?

A cop stopped me for speeding/ He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing [mimes steering wheel]? This steers it'

There is nothing more pitiful than a ready and willing mind but an incapable body.