Jim Gaffigan Quotes

However long, it's definitely the presence of other people that brings out the weirdness - that collision of your own way of being with the everyday lives of others, the abrupt awareness - always a surprise no matter how often it's happened - that their lives are very different from your own.

I spent quite a lot of time pissing off my friends because I could get girls with a British accent, despite the fact that I was tubby and, like, not very cool.

If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I've got to get out.

It was just a little weird coming into the seventh season (of 'Gilmore Girls'), where everyone is already set in their ways and their dynamics, and you sort of feel like you're coming into a party late. So I was just, like, 'Ugh! How do I make friends?' It's like high school dynamics!

Kids are probably frustrated and egos are too much involved and kids don't know how to get together and be kids and start a group and it's kind of sad because I feel like if you come out with three or four people in the beginning, you can be protected and everybody can shield each other. Before you get out there by yourself and get all these people coming at you. I just think it's not really there.

I certainly have not the talent which some people possess," said Darcy, "of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.

Every time you enter into a job it's a whole new universe. There's a new language with a new power structure. If you are in an all Black cast its a different dynamic, the same with an all male cast or a crew that is mainly women.

The problem for most people as they get older is that they start to buy into their own bullshit to the extent that they just have to eliminate from their inner sanctum anyone who is going to really challenge it. But I think all bandmates of U2 were lucky enough to have the four of us respect and regard each other to the extent that we're kind of always looking out for one another, so none of us can get away with buying into the bullshit.

Have you ever noticed that idiots have a lot of friends? It's just an observation.

What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big. That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.

I still find it tough to be around girls because I always say the wrong thing. If a friend asks me if I look fat in something, I'll be honest and say 'Yeah' when she does.

People behave more on the basis of how they feel than how they think; unless there are good feelings between people, it is almost impossible to reason intelligently.

Thinking and feeling that have to do with action in association with others is as much a social mode of behavior as is the most overt cooperative or hostile act.

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

I probably could have a hip-hop-style entourage of 40 people coming with me to the club or whatever, and I don't do that. And I think sometimes maybe I should. It just makes things easier - if you don't like being by yourself, maybe just don't do it ever.

We're social animals; we're meant to be together, but we were never necessarily meant to be together without being together. That was never the plan, I don't think.

Why does he speak of them that way?" The crow-man wanted to know. "They are humans, just like he is." "I don't think he sees them as just like him." Ally explained. "He is foolish then," said Nawat. "There are more raka than Bronaus.

We feel properly embarrassed when we are caught doing something that makes us look inept, knuckleheaded, or inappropriate. Maybe the difference is this: we feel embarrassed because we look bad, and we feel shame because we think we are bad. When we are embarrassed, we feel socially foolish. When we are shamed, we feel morally unworthy.

If you consistently take an antagonistic approach, however, people are going to start thinking you're from New York.

I think the boarding schools are like miniature versions of "Lord of the Flies."

All important persons have about them someone in a subordinate position who has their ear. These dependents are very susceptible to slights, and, when they are not treated as they think they should be, will by well-directed shafts, constantly repeated, poison the minds of their patrons against those who have provoked their animosity. It is well to keep in with them.

I'd read an enormous amount but had spent so much time in my own head that I didn't have extensive social skills. Suddenly I was in this world where I was surrounded by these incredibly polished and wealthy kids who had gone to prep schools, and I felt daunted by them. I don't think people were aware of how full of anxiety I was... For a long time I felt like I was living in a place where I shouldn't have been.

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

In all my years here, I don't think I've ever seen quite so many assholes gathered in one place!

I think that we, as monkeys, want to live in smaller groups. It's very scary when we're all - as wonderful as it is - connected.