J. K. Rowling Quotes

Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I can't be serious, apparently.

I have a name,” I grumped, my stomach pinching me harder. “Yes, but it has no pizzazz. Ra-a-a-a-chel. Rach-e-e-e-eel,” he said, trying it out in different ways. “No one will tremble in terror at that. Oh my God!” he said in a high falsetto. “It’s Rachel! Run! Hide!

Jokes are grievances.

You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Nothing you could do would make me mad. You're a complete official failure.

Some days, the first coffee just laughs at you. It says, 'Oh, you think I'm going to wake you up? Sucker.'

Forgive us our trespasses," says Margarethe, "and get out of our way.

Don't ask me any questions right now. I'm grumpy and I'll probablly make fun of you. -Effie Kaligaris

Don’t you two girls have something better to do, like pick out toe lint? (Acheron)

You're laughing at everything that's bringing me down.

I laughed derisively. "For goodness' sake, don't start gargling now. This is serious." "I was laughing." "Oh, were you? Well, I'm glad to see you taking it in this merry spirit." "Derisively," I explained.

You don't smoke do you?" "No, why?" "They're afraid of fire." "Great, we're going to be eaten alive because neither of us smokes." I almost laughed. He sounded so thoroughly disgusted.

Oh, lighten up, Clark. I'm the one having scalding hot air directed at my genitals.

Hey," Dopey said when I was finished reading. "How come they never mentioned me? I'm the one who found the skeleton." "Oh, yeah," Sleepy said in disgust. "Your role was really crucial. After all, if it wasn't for you, the guy's skull might still have been intact.

If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.

You should make her call you ‘Miss Georgina,’” added Hugh with a mocking southern drawl. “Or at least ‘ma’am.’” Niphon’s presence and Jerome’s lecture had put me in a grouchy mood. “I’m not doing any mentoring. She’s so gungho to take on the world’s male population, she doesn’t even need me.” The three men exchanged more smirks. Cody made some hissing and meowing sounds, scratching at the air. "This isn’t funny,” I said. "Sure it is,” said Cody.

Yeah, I can dig that... SUCKAAAAAAAAAA!

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.

And now I wish I hadn’t been civil, because he says he shall not despair! He is as stupid as Endymion!” “No, no!” said Alverstoke soothingly. “Nobody could be as stupid as Endymion!

It’s just a mild disagreement, Papa. Remi has this whole need to breathe in and out, which annoys me. If he would just stop breathing, I’d be fine. (Aimee)

Melbourne, I always knew you'd need to learn about this kind of thing. I 'd just kind of hoped you'd learn it on a real guy.

Got to be worth a try, I suppose," said Crowley. "It's not as if I haven't got lots of other work to do, God knows." His forehead creased for a moment, and then he slapped the steering wheel triumphantly. "Ducks!" he shouted. "What?" "That's what water slides off!" Aziraphale took a deep breath. "Just drive the car, please," he said wearily.