Janet Evanovich Quotes

Sure. Knock yourself out. No, really. Hammer to the head, works every time.” Claire

Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I don't have a dark side at all. I just like violence.

I'm happy to report that everybody whose face I've wanted to punch on Earth has already been punched.

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

If I could be good at any sport, it'd be javelin. I know a few people I would love to throw a spear at.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

I already killed you once today, what does it take to teach some people?

Oh, I'm so glad we know what it's called, that's a great help," snarled Ron, leaning back, trying to stop the plant from curling around his neck.

I forget the derivation of Boxing Day, but the feeling of wanting to invite your loved ones outside one at a time and punch them in the face, does that come into it somewhere?

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

Oh, goodie. Let the bloodbath commence. (Zarek)

I don't get to shoot anybody. That kind of sucks.

Well, now that you set him on fire, I'm sure we're well on the path to reconciliation.

It just gets old when you hear a million raps about how many ways I could shoot you.

I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.

I'm not very happy. I'm frustrated with human beings. I'm the guy who just wants to smack people in the face and say, 'Wake up!'

When I'm forced by circumstances to be in a crowd of prisoners, it's all I can do to refrain from attack.

When I see these guys write all this macho stuff I want to smash their heads.

I've never had an easy relationship with critics. I hold a lot of homicide in my heart. If this was another time, I'd be packing a piece.

I've been shot at on numerous occasions.

Abused patience turns to fury.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya.

I know from personal experience, if a chef yelled at me in a kitchen, the first thing I'd want to do is hit them with a pot.