Charlaine Harris Quotes

I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.

I'm not very funny!

I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.

I like to think of myself as the corniest, most awful thing you could possibly imagine.

I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people.

I am terribly shy, but of course no one believes me. Come to think of it, neither would I.

Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.

That's sort of what I wanted to make fun of a little bit with Don Jon. And I think oftentimes, if you're going to talk about a sort of substantial topic like this, the best way to do it is with a sense of humor.

I‟m going to kill her,” Francesca said to no one in particular. Which was probably a good thing, as there was no one else present. “Who are you talking to?” Hyacinth demanded. “God,” Francesca said baldly. “And I do believe I have been given divine leave to murder you.” “Hmmph,” was Hyacinth‟s response. “If it was that easy, I‟d have asked permission to eliminate half the ton years ago.” Francesca decided just then that not all of Hyacinth‟s statements required a rejoinder. In fact, few of them did.

I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question.

I think it's very funny that someone would exaggerate to make himself look worse.

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian.

Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.

I think my general disposition on life is finding what's funny about it. When something happens, the first thing in my mind is, "What's funny about it?"

Oh, lighten up, Clark. I'm the one having scalding hot air directed at my genitals.

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

The thing about Donald [Trump] is the jokes write themselves. I don't even think of it to be trolling. What he says is the joke.

Yeah, it’s me, but I like to think I looked better when we met. ‘Cause right now, I’m pretty much hogging all the ugly. (Nick)

It was always the most fun thing in the world to think of a joke area and talk about it with someone like Jim Carrey, and then he would get on stage fearlessly and tear the house down. That's something I always enjoyed. It also allowed me to not be terrified.

We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.

There are only two things you can do when you're dressed like Barbie Does Bondage; you can be embarrassed or you can be aggressive. Guess what my choice was.

I want to make people think, and I don't want to come across like I am egotistical or that I want to change people's thoughts. I don't believe that as a comic I can convert anyone's opinion. I think I can maybe make someone look in one direction or the other but I can't make a religious person stop believing in God.

I'm trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” I decide to go ahead and like Boggs.

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.