Erma Bombeck Quotes

People were having sex before I was born. My parents had sex before I was born, nothing to do with me. I'm not trying to stop sex. I'm trying to stop people from dying from sex.

There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.

Fear is the foundation of safety.

I don't like going into the basement. I'm always afraid that something's going to blow up.

Considering how dangerous everything is, nothing is really very frightening.

You can’t do anything about HIV-AIDS unless you are willing to talk about condoms.

Despite a lifetime of service to the cause of sexual liberation, I have never caught venereal disease, which makes me feel rather like an Arctic explorer who has never had frostbite.

I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.

I think when you start to get afraid, it's time to leave.

Masturbation never got anybody pregnant, does not make anybody go crazy, and what we're about is preventing HIV in our bright young people.

Have you ever heard of a condom? Don't Carpathians have condoms? Because I'm thinking that if you're all that worried, a condom might be just the thing." His smile was slow in coming. "I had not thought of that. As a rule Carpathians do not need such things.

I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.

I'm 36-years-old and I'm learning about definitions that I should have known when I started having sex.

If I could be the "condom queen" and get every young person who engaged in sex to use a condom in the United States, I would weara crown on my head with a condom on it! I would!

Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships.

I do support a sex-positive attitude for young people. Use condoms, that's important. I love the idea that promiscuity can be healthy but it's got some dodgy crevasses. Ooh, that's a bad reference! But it's got some dangerous cavities there. You know what I'm saying.

Kids should be taught about sex, sex hygiene and contraceptive methods starting in the sixth grade, and whenever they want to try it, they should be allowed to go at it without supervision or restriction -in their parents' bedroom, on the grass in a park, in a motel; it doesn't matter, as long as the setting is private and pleasant. If we did all this, our kids would grow up into happier, healthier human beings. But we won't, of course. It would make too much sense.

Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too. It's impossible to be alive and safe.

Dead folks can't hurt you none. It's the ones that are alive, you have to watch out for.

The average man don't like trouble and danger.

Danger is very real but fear is a choice.

You managed not to get eaten then?

Please," said Lirael..."I think I would like to work in this Library." "The Library," repeated Sanar, looking troubled. "That can be dangerous to a girl of fourteen. Or a woman of forty, for that matter.

Where Jack isn't safe, Tom's in danger.

As far as the nuclear is concerned, I agree. It is the single greatest threat that this country has.