Carl Reiner Quotes

Don’t ever fight with Lisbeth Salander. Her attitude towards the rest of the world is that if someone threatens her with a gun, she’ll get a bigger gun.

You didn't have to take a punch for me, you know,' he said. 'I'm a lover, not a fighter.' 'You're a freak is what you are,' I said.

My last fight was more than 20 years ago. I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover. If somebody's going to speak bad about me, I will walk away. But if a guy like Steven Seagal slaps me once, I will slap him twice as hard. Life is full of violence.

Every day, I get into fights with my brother, who is the most annoying person on the planet.

I used comedy to deflect a lot of situations; if you make someone laugh, they don't want to punch you in the face.

Most of my good friends have fights with me. Those guys know that I was in martial arts for 12 years fighting on the circuit.

Trash talk is not my thing. I believe I have other weapons to make a fight get booked.

I will never let another man disrespect me. I don't care if we sparring or fighting.

The neighbor's kid was bullying my kid. Crossing the line. Threatening him all the time. I went over there to tell him what was going on. I had on flip-flops. I wasn't there to fight. It was a misunderstanding between a couple of dudes where one thing led to another.

Sometimes, people say, 'You need to fight smart.' After a fight gets started I don't know what happens with me. I feel crazy. A lot of times my coach says, 'Calm down. Calm.'

I will not try to escape fights if someone tries to poke or trigger me.

Be glad I don't have my gun because right now I'm considering the different ways I can get you to shut up. Let me scream and back off.

The fight world is definitely a masculine thing, but I think it's pretty masculine if someone can avoid a fight also.

ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.

Living out here, I have found that many creatures would prefer not to fight. But if your first instinct is to reach for your sword, you will never discover that.

I hate violence. When I hold a gun, I feel death in my hands, but it's fun to pretend in the movies.

Rage was sometimes a useful ally in the heat of a fight, but it was a trickster. It made everything seem possible.

There are times when my passion for basketball led me into confrontations that I could have handled a lot better. I've always been too confrontational, especially when I know I'm right.

Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter.

Piss off Satan and don't take me for dumber than I look.

The trouble is that nonviolence is so often defined as refusal to fight, and that is the American definition of cowardice. In fact, marching unarmed against the guns and dogs of the police requires more courage than does aggression. The perverted idea of manhood coming from the barrel of a gun is what keeps people from understanding nonviolence.

War is the sure result of the existence of armed men. That country which maintains a large standing army will sooner or later have a war. The man who prides himself on fisticuffs is going, some day, to meet a man who considers himself the better man, and they will test the issue.

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.

When I was a small boy, if we had a problem, we would fight about it with our fists. We wouldn't shoot somebody, killing them or wounding them. That's not hard to do. I would like people to put down the guns. If you have a problem, talk about it or fight about it.

I've met a few people who were passive-aggressive, but I've never met anyone who was aggressive-passive. I don't want tacos! Maybe.