Stephen Colbert Quotes

I have the will of a flip-flop.

I never make my mind up about anything at all, until it's over and done with.

I am not someone who forgets things and changes his way of thinking.

Economic policy is like business - it's all about compromise.

All my collaborators unilaterally said that I need to just stay on one idea for longer. And of course I understand that. I like to switch gears a lot, and I like this kind of sloppy attitude.

If you have a choice of two things and can't decide, take both.

If I make a decision it is a possession. I take pride in it, I tend to defend it and not listen to those who question it. If I make sense, then this is more dynamic, and I listen and I can change it. A decision is something you polish. Sensemaking is a direction for the next period.

The truth is that many people set rules to keep from making decisions. Not me. I don't want to be a manager or a dictator. I want to be a leader-and leadership is ongoing, adjustable, flexible, and dynamic. As such, leaders have to maintain a certain amount of discretion

He never complicates a desire by overthinking it, unlike Mirabelle, who spins a cocoon around an idea until it is immobile.

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will.

I am easily influenced. Compared with me a weather vane is Gibraltar.

I will not change. Because if you are successful and you change, you are an idiot.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

He to whom many objects of pursuit arise at the same time, will frequently hesitate between different desires till a rival has precluded him, or change his course as new attractions prevail, and harass himself without advancing.

The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat: If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse. If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat, If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house. If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat, If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse. Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat - And there isn't any call for me to shout it: For he will do As he do do And there's no doing anything about it!

I've never been good at accepting jobs six months down the line. I can't do it. If I'm thinking about this, I can't think about that. So I always seem to fly by the seat of my pants.

What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

To be constantly changing one's plans isn't decision at all-it's indecision.

Don't spend so much time trying to choose the perfect opportunity, that you miss the right opportunity.

Managers think of themselves as captains of a ship on a stormy sea. Risk for them is danger, but they are fighting it, very controlled.

It is only the very wisest and the very stupidest who never change.

[Donald] Trump, I think, is the sort of guy that if he maybe thought he'd made a little bit of a mistake, would find a way out, he wouldn't want to say, "Well, that's what I've done and I'm sticking to it, and I don't give a damn." Which is what the other people in America would be like.

My impression of Donald Trump, just having been around him. I don't think Trump needs a lot of advisers. I don't think Trump's sitting up there not knowing what he thinks, not knowing what he thinks is best. I don't think that as these things come and go, he runs around, "What do you think I should do?" I think what happens is he makes up his mind he wants to do something and then asks people how's the best way to make it happen. He goes and talks to the military.