FRANKLIN P. ADAMS

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter.

Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

Having imagination it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that if you were unimaginative would take you only a minute.

Christmas is over and Business is Business.

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

We have nothing in our history or position to invite aggression; we have everything to beckon us to the cultivation of relations of peace and amity with all nations.

I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less.

There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

Too much truth is uncouth.

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

You do not know what you can miss before you try.

Most people vote against somebody, rather than for somebody.

There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good five-cent nickel

Elections are won ... chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.

Prohibition is an awful flop. We like it. It can't stop what it's meant to stop. We like it. It's left a trail of graft and slime, It don't prohibit worth a dime, It's filled our land with vice and crime. Nevertheless, we're for it.

When the political columnists say 'Every thinking man' they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to 'Every intelligent voter' they mean everybody who is going to vote for them.

Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.

As we see censorship it is a stupid giant traffic policeman answering "Yes" to "Am I my brother's copper?" He guards a one-way street and his semaphore has four signs, all marked "stop.

I am easily influenced. Compared with me a weather vane is Gibraltar.

Having imagination, it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that, if you were unimaginative, would take you only a minute. Or you might not write the paragraph at all.

There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.

Day after day, night after night, my life at home is far from bright, but even home has more variety, than I can find in cafe society.