Emo Philips Quotes

Most of the drug CEOs I know, they're not themselves - they're what people want them to be. It's pretty obvious of the different drug executives. They're old white men, very buttoned up. They're appropriate, so to speak. I'm a little bit more irreverent, and I'm not going to change just because I have this job.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

When you see all the suits in the room, everybody in the room has on suits, you know, the women, too. We're not wearing dresses and chiffon and we're not as fun as we used to be.

The hardest part of my job, daily, is to not laugh while we shoot.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

I never talk about my work as a joke.

I hope I'm always appropriate on 'JR' if it's a serious case. But if you have a case of a man who has a wardrobe malfunction with a lime green mankini, even I on the odd occasion find it mildly amusing.

I think it's hilarious when middle-aged white men try to take themselves seriously. It makes me laugh.

There is a joke that I use all the time. I say it to my kids. I used to say it to my wife. She'd be talking to me about something very serious and then I would just look at her and go "Where are you from originally?" And she would go "Humphhh! C'mon. That's terrible!"

That's the nature of my [stand-up] act: black man with a white baby.

I don't want to go back to sitcoms - I'm a middle-aged, white guy - the high school principal who's a buffoon. It's hard enough raising kids now a days, and I don't want to be a part of a show that I'll be embarrassed watching shows like that with my kids and my mother. A lot of shows feel they need to get that for humor. You've have to have had a life experience; otherwise, it's toilet humor. If you've had a job before or experienced something, you get it. Some of these people haven't and they look for the cheap laugh.

People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.

I think I found it difficult though to keep a straight face when we were actually working and I wasn't supposed to be laughing.

I'm not as serious of a person as people make me out to be. Most people would think that I would be less successful in comedy, but I can crack a joke as well as anyone else.

Tommy told Sal about the strange white-cloth figure with black stitches that he had found on the front porch. "Sounds like Pillsbury Doughboy gone punk," Sal said.

I don't do things that are comedic. This is such a crazy idea.

I wanted to be a comedian, I wanted people to laugh at what I was saying, not to be staring at my boobs or wearing a skirt and show off my ... I just didn't think that that was the best way to get taken seriously in that world.

I will laugh at the world. And most of all, I will laugh at myself for man is most comical when he takes himself too seriously.

Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without your even asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective people.

I was a straight man long before I knew what it was called. I was just the boring one.

When white-collar people get jobs, they sell not only their time and energy, but their personalities as well. They sell by the week, or month, their smiles and their kindly gestures, and they must practice that prompt repression of resentment and aggression.

Humor is one of the most serious tools we have for dealing with impossible situations.

Let's face it, most pretty girls aren't funny.

I never ever took my career seriously.

According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in.