Emo Philips Quotes

God will forgive me. It's his job.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Of course God will forgive me; that's His job.

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.

I believe in prayer. I pray every night.

There's nothing funnier than religion. Try explaining it to a kid. I had it all wrong when I was a kid.

God will forgive me. It's his job." Heine said this on his deathbed (1856). Hilarious. He must have thought that up years before and counted the seconds to use it.

I'm a very bad Christian, but I am a Christian.

When I was young, I was religious.

The first thing I do when I start my day is, I get down on my hands and knees and give thanks to God. Whenever I go outside of my house, the first thing I do is stop at the church.

It doesn't matter what tradition you come from, what religion you have or don't, what culture you were brought up in or what God you ascribe to: Faith is worthwhile as it helps us to be kinder, more generous, more loving and forgiving people.

I don't go to movies for redemption - if I want that, I'll go to church!

I say three prayers every night to make sure that God knows I thank him so much.

Do I pray? Yes. Prayer is very important to me.

I owe it all to Jesus.

Thank God I'm an atheist.

What do you think Jesus would twitter, 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone' or 'Has anyone seen Judas? He was here a minute ago.'

I always believed in Jesus and God as a little boy.

Put your mind on the gospel. And remember - there's one God for all.

I pray as much as possible.

From a young kid, I was quite interested in religion.

Please God, let me hit one. I'll tell everybody you did it.

I am trying to get closer to God.

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

When I was a kid and I'd be in trouble. I'd ask God to help me, and then once the fire was out, I wouldn't talk to Him anymore. When I got older, I began to find I needed some help spiritually, just to function.