Emo Philips Quotes

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

Usually, old ladies tell me to find Jesus. Look, I'm just trying to find some chai and a good vegan muffin.

I really appreciate leaders from around the globe who have come to share in prayer with us today. It reminds me that the Almighty God is a God to everybody, every person.

I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.

You made this?' Finn looks at me. 'No, Saint Anthony brought it to me in the night. He was very put out I didn't give it to you right then.

Dustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him.

God hears a mother's prayer.

I like the story about Henry David Thoreau, who, when he was on his death bed, his family sent for a minister. The minister said, 'Henry, have you made your peace with God?' Thoreau said, 'I didn't know we'd quarreled.'

Work is a prayer. And I start off every morning dedicating it to our Creator.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

All the religions are super funny to me.

Religion's in the heart, not in the knees.

Prayer is our invitation to God to intervene in the affairs of earth. It is our request for Him to work His ways in this world.

Your cravings as a human animal do not become a prayer just because it is God whom you ask to attend to them.

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it.

You know, in high school I thought Catholicism was funny and sort of ridiculous, but then I also liked it, too. Like, I definitely turned to it in times of trouble.

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.

Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.

I just want to lobby for God.

God will forgive me. It's his job.

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

You gotta love these Christians, they're humble people.

I've always felt that, you know, the Almighty has a lot of things to do other than help my basketball team.