Carrot Top Quotes

All I ever wanted to do was tell jokes for a living.

Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.'

I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people.

The way I toe the line with comedy is I run jokes past people.

Sometimes in stand-up, you want that late-night set where you get that five minutes, then you want a half-hour special, and then the crown, if you will, is an HBO special.

It's a young man's game - standup comedy.

With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

I will always love to perform standup comedy.

Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.

To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing.

I'd like to do a bit of comedy.

The comedian just wants to get a laugh.

I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do.

I always tell comics you got to hang with your stand-up.

I did standup comedy. I opened once for Jay Leno.

Mama is my chance to be a stand-up comedian. In my mind, it's my chance to be Chris Rock.

All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.

I took a stand-up comedy class because I'd always wanted to.

Every comedian wants to play the London Comedy Store, and I was no exception.

As comedians, we work our whole lives hoping for a break.

I think a comedian has to be low status on some level; that gives you the right to do all sorts of jokes about all sorts of different kinds of people.

I'm sure there are comedians who make jokes about me, but say something funny, not mean.

That's what's great about standup comedy: the instant feedback. You get up on stage, you tell a joke, if it doesn't work, come back the next day with a better version of it.

I once did a flip-flop joke in San Diego, and I got booed... but it's all in good fun.