Demetri Martin Quotes

I am in perfect health, and hear it said I look better than ever I did in my life, which is one of those lies one is always glad to hear.

It's funny, one of the reasons why I never wear my glasses any more is that, when I was younger, a guy once said that he liked me until he found out that I wear glasses.

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

Comedy is the difference between how you see a person and how they see themselves.

One character mistook me for the model and remarked 'That Man-Tan sure works wonders!' That ain't Man-Tan. I'm tan, man. From my head to my toes.

I have a rare form of body dysmorphia in which I absolutely can't stand how good I look.

I enjoy the way I look, but it's a joke.

I just kind of have a comedic looking body, I guess. If anything I really have to exercise just to not look too fudgy, otherwise I would just keep going and going.

Be honest, how hideous do I look?" He took another step back and pursed his lips. "That bad, huh?" I muttered. No, no Bella. Actually. . ." He seemed to be struggling for the right word. "You look. . .sexy." I laughed out loud. "Right." Very sexy, really.

Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.

Everybody has that thing where they need to look one way but they come out looking another way and that's what people observe.

I describe my look as a blend of mother goose, cinderella, and the local hooker!

I have no illusions about my looks. I think my face is funny.

I look spooky but I’m really nice.

It's almost as if we're put here on earth to show how silly they aren't.

A sense of absurdity interferes with my efforts to appear venerable.

Am I hideous, Jane? Very, sir: you always were, you know.

I must be getting old ... People are beginning to tell me I look so young. They never tell you that when you are young.

You know you're pitching well when the batters look as bad as you do at the plate.

You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.

At a certain point you stop looking at your features, at what you don't look like. You start looking at lines and signs of fatigue rather than at the shape of your mouth.

The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.

He looks like a man.' 'How descriptive,' Susan said in a droll tone. 'Remind me never to advise you to seek work as a novelist.

My gift is that I'm not beautiful. My career was never about looks. It's about health and being in good shape.

Gary, who's wearing a coral shirt and white pants, growls to look tough. It doesn't work.