Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.

When men do the dishes, it's called helping. When women do the dishes, it is called life.

The few men who do a hand's turn around the house expect gratitude and recognition, so sure are they that, though it is their dirt, it is not their job.

I'd like us to deliver a little message to all the men still out there who think it's the '50s, and coming home simply means watching television with a beer.

Housework is the only activity at which men are allowed to be consistently inept because they are thought to be so competent at everything else.

I've always said I have nothing against a woman doing anything a man can do as long as she gets home in time to cook dinner.

Often, women as little girls are sent off on a track for them to live a perfect life and be a perfect woman. Not for boys, who can be themselves with their mood and their temper.

What works for a man, still does not work for a woman - both in terms of how they see themselves and how we see them.

Most men I know rely on women to do all the literal dirty work.

When a woman is very, very bad, she is awful, but when a man is correspondingly good, he is weird.

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother.

In my generation, if a man washes the dishes, the older women still tend to cluster around and coo and thank him and praise him. But if a woman washes the dishes, it's business as usual, even if both man and woman have tough office jobs.

Why can't ladies like nice guys?

I can't believe that women have got to put on so much in the morning. What time do women wake up? Man, I put a t-shirt and jeans on, and that's it.

Why can't a woman be more like a man?

Whatever is dirty, it is women's job to clean up, or drive some man to clean up, and that goes for everything from cellar to senate.

It is odd what notions men seem to have of the scantiness of a woman's resources. They do not find it anything out of nature that they should be able to exist by themselves; but a woman must always be borne about on somebody's shoulders, and dandled or chirped to, or it is supposed she will fall into the blackest melancholy!

Once you get married, women are still implicitly expected to do the majority of the housework and take care of any future children.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

Women should do kitchen work and take care of babies.

Men never get free from morality, only women.

An African man should not do anything called housework or cooking.

Once, at Thanksgiving, a neighbor wandered in while my cousin Lisa worked on a turkey, shearing meat off its frame and sliding the steaming slices onto a big flowered plate. 'Hey, that's the man's job,' she yelped, in between slurps of her Big Gulp. No one even paused to acknowledge the comment; everyone just laughed and laughed.

Male writers don't want to be judged in the room. They want to be able to scarf an entire bag of potato chips while cracking fart jokes and making lewd comments without fear of feminine disapproval. But we're your co-workers, not your wives.