Jerry Lewis Quotes

Being 90 is not simple, but it's interesting, very interesting. Before I was 90, I could walk, I could see well, I could hear terrific, and now, I can't hear or see or walk.

At 66, you're supposed to die or get hemorrhoids.

My eyesight is not nearly as good. My hearing is probably going away. My memory is slipping too. But I'm still around.

When you're at the wrong end of your 70s, everything is a challenge.

It's one of the terrors of old age that your body is not your friend. Or to be out on the street and be frightened of someone because you're not in good shape and can't do anything about it.

I have the problems of, I must confess, old age.

Just ask anybody who is getting old - everything starts hurting. For me, it's my shoulders, thumbs, knees and feet.

I guess maybe when you get past 70, other people start asking you how you feel.

I've got two artificial knees, I have an artificial shoulder, and I'm reasonably healthy given the damage I've done to myself. Everything hurts.

Not everything in old age is grim. I haven't walked through an airport for years, and wheelchairs are the way to travel.

When you get to be over 80, your coordination goes to hell and a half.

Many older people I know are focused on the past. When they talk about the future, they are, quite understandably, preoccupied with the hassles and obstacles of their increasing age.

It's when you get to 60 when everything starts to go pear-shaped. Everyone thinks that becoming an older guy is easy, but you never consider it fully. It comes as quite a shock.

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

I can't dance anymore. Total knee replacements. I can't do anything anymore.

When you are 81 years old, you don't really need a lot of the trappings of wealth.

I really think that it's better to retire, in Uncle Earl's terms, when you still have some snap left in your garters.

Age is not different from earlier life as long as you're sitting down.

You're not dead at 85. You're a long way from it. Go out and enjoy. You've earned it.

I retired from rugby because I was old and getting really slow.

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.

As I approach my 88th birthday, it's become apparent to me that my eyes and ears, among other appurtenances, aren't quite what they used to be. The prospect of long flights to wherever in search of whatever are not quite as appealing.

Old age is, so to speak, the sanctuary of ills: they all take refuge in it.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

My parents were fine at 85. So 85's nothing. 100 is another thing. I have a friend whose mother is about to turn 101, and it's not great.