Mort Sahl Quotes

My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

I met the man of my dreams at a gym, and then we got married in Vegas - because we're classy. When you meet at a gym, where else do you get married?

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

There's something honorable about holding out for love and not breaking up for the sake of the baby. I see people get divorced, and there is a part of me that thinks, I wonder how hard they tried?

I love my wife to death. I mean my ex-wife.

I wouldn't want to be married to me, but luckily Tom Cruise does.

When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.

I found my partner, my life partner, and I really am in love with my wife, and we have a lovely time, and we share a long history together and children together, and that's it.

I'm married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child.

I like marriage. The idea.

It is so important that you don't stay with someone just for the children and for the wrong reasons.

Having children with someone is the real bond.

You know, that's the only good thing about divorce; you get to sleep with your mother.

My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren't that lonely.

My husband says I like animals more than I like people. I take that as the compliment he means it as.

What's the difference between sex and love? I have four wives and five kids. I apparently don't know the difference.

I don't know if I believe in marriage. I believe in family, love and children.

My mom always said, 'Marry someone smarter than yourself, Katee, because No. 1, you're not that smart. And No. 2, then you'll have smart babies.'

There was a glamorous Nick-and-Nora element to my parents. If you remove one from the other, you're left with neither. But parents are parents.

Your wife is always right, fam.

Marriage does figure in my life, as I do want to have children. But I could also consider having children without getting married. The primary thing is having a good father, a partner who could be there with me through that journey.

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

The love of husband and wife is the force that welds society together.

When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.