Lisa Kleypas Quotes

Why, what's the matter wi' the poor child?" she demanded of Jamie. "Has she had an accident o' some sort?" "No, it's only she's married me," he said, "though if ye care to call it an accident, ye may.

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: 'And so Kathy and I went shopping and we--' That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way.

It would surpass the powers of a well man nowadays to take up his bed and walk, and I should certainly advise a sick one to lay down his bed and run.

You see, I'm fond of teasing, it's a second nature with me—and I'm used to teasing myself. Plaguing myself, if you prefer; I don't tease nicely.

Hey," Dopey said when I was finished reading. "How come they never mentioned me? I'm the one who found the skeleton." "Oh, yeah," Sleepy said in disgust. "Your role was really crucial. After all, if it wasn't for you, the guy's skull might still have been intact.

This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who you are... and when I find you I am going to kill you.

Are you accusing me of reading? ~ Ridley

Laugh it up, asshole. But she who laughs last laughs longest, and I intend to belly roll tonight ~Tabitha

The goodness of your true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.

There must be more malice than love in the hearts of all wits.

I have a name,” I grumped, my stomach pinching me harder. “Yes, but it has no pizzazz. Ra-a-a-a-chel. Rach-e-e-e-eel,” he said, trying it out in different ways. “No one will tremble in terror at that. Oh my God!” he said in a high falsetto. “It’s Rachel! Run! Hide!

I took my husband to the hospital yesterday to have 17 stitches out - that'll teach him to buy me a sewing kit for my birthday.

My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

I already know how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture." —Bella Swan

I get my exercise being a pallbearer for those of my friends who believed in regular running and calisthenics.

A lot of people think that Jesus is coming back. That's fine, it's your right. But you know, I live in New York, and I think he's running a little late. I'm asking myself, 'Alright, what happens if Jesus comes back tomorrow? What - does he make rounds to churches?' 'OK, everyone who's been good, buses leave in 10 minutes. I'll meet you in front of the post office. I gotta go. Oh, don't tell the Jews I'm back.'

You're splitting?" "No sh*it, Sherlock.

Now I must give one smirk and then we may be rational again

You ought to be ironical the minute you get out of bed. You ought to wake up with your mouth full of pity.

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

Really? Is he running for Worst Boyfriend Ever?" "In the subcategory of Completely Awesome.

In person, if possible, Anubis was even more drop-dead gorgeous. [Oh . . . ha, ha. I didn't catch the pun, but thank you, Carter. God of the dead, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes, hilarious. Now, may I continue?]

Are you on drugs?" "No." "Maybe you should be.

I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the telephone.