Amy Schumer Quotes

I'm just not prepared to be treated like this anymore.' 'Treated like what?' She sighed, and it was a moment before she spoke. 'Like you always want to be somewhere else, with someone else.

Somewhere, sometime I'd stopped expecting my father to father.

I've had it with you and your emotional constipation!

My mother is a very strange woman... She doesn't understand me in the least and doesn't love me much either. If she had either love or understanding she would be prepared to make sacrifices.

My little son, Atticus, desperately needs his dad and I haven't been there for him... and that's sad.

The trouble with anyone when they're unhappy or in a relationship they recognize is not working but don't know what to do about is that they can't see farther out than that. If the relationship is not working, if what was there isn't there anymore, you have to do something about it.

I certainly feel sad about the alienation from my son.

One evening I sat Beauty on my knees – And I found her bitter – And I reviled her.

Yesterday my daughter said to me, 'My marriage is falling apart.' And now all she can do is watch it falling.

I think it's strange to live in a house with someone you cannot talk to-especially when that someone is your father-and the thought makes me a little sad.

A lot can happen [because of the dysfunctional family]. People don't look at that. They think, "Oh, my kids are going to be fine. My kids are resilient." But at a certain point, the damage starts. They start to feel pain - and when they feel bad, they start to take painkillers. We want to kill the pain.

Breakups usually don't happen down by the river with beautiful lighting. The moment you realize your relationship may be over might happen in Aisle 11 of Rite-Aid and the person you're with has disregarded your feelings and your needs by bringing you the wrong toothbrush again for the fourth time.

I am sorry the only outlet for her troubled mind was in clumsy foreplay with an inadequate partner." He threw the rest of her sandwich at the swinging door as she passed through it.

It seems like every time I break up with someone they try to take all my friends. It sucks because your friends are the people you need the most when you are in pain.

She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.

The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn't have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It's why we broke up, so here it is. Ed, how could you?

Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.

Betrayal would be a different sort of sick.

A woman who is starved for her real soul-life may look 'cleaned up and combed' on the outside, but on the inside she is filled with dozens of pleading hands and empty mouths.

Everyone could face something that hurts him. But I don't expect that I will be hurt

The telephone becomes an instrument of torture in the demonic hands of a beloved who doesn't call.

You can't say you're happy either. You don't even smile for me.

I didn't want to leave things the way we had, unresolved, ... and tried to tell myself he cared about me enough not to look elsewhere for what I wasn't giving him.

Callin my ex-girl or e-mailin my mama, you're the only one that's causin me this drama.

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.