George Burns Quotes

It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

The man's desire is for the woman; but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man.

Man has his will, but woman has her way.

Historically, it appears that society has capitalized on what is at most a degree of difference between the sexes in order to institutionalize the polarization of aggression.

The first thing that strikes the careless observer is that women are unlike men. They are 'the opposite sex' - (though why 'opposite' I do not know; what is the 'neighbouring sex'?).

The first symptom of true love in a man is timidity, in a young woman, boldness. This is surprising, and yet nothing is more simple. It is the two sexes tending to approach each other and assuming each the other's qualities.

The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!

The reason husbands and wives do not understand each other is because they belong to different sexes.

Should men and women be equal in all things? Absolutely. But I'm old-fashioned in that I like the differences between the sexes. My male characters are neither Neanderthals nor Prince Charmings. They're flawed.

Men and women just look at sex in very, very different ways.

Men want success and sex. Women want everything.

At the end of one millennium and nine centuries of Christianity, it remains an unshakable assumption of the law in all Christian countries and of the moral judgement of Christians everywhere that if a man and a woman, entering a room together, close the door behind them, the man will come out sadder and the woman wiser.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

Once you know what women are like, men get kind of boring. I'm not trying to put them down, I mean I like them sometimes as people, but sexually they're dull.

Men are forever eager to press drink upon those they consider their superiors, hoping thereby to eliminate that distinction between them.... And women, when confronted by superiors, substitute for drink the crippling liquor of their sex.

war and the 'war of the sexes' are neither divinely nor biologically ordained.

How much more generous it would be if, instead of writing parables about childhood wounds, psychologists were to accept that some differences between the sexes just are, that they are in the nature of the beasts, because each sex has an evolved tendency to develop that way in response to experience.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

The little rift between the sexes is astonishingly widened by simply teaching one set of catchwords to the girls and another to the boys.

Women tend to immediately take responsibility if somebody messes up with both of us saying it's our fault. Men are quite happy for it to be your fault it seems like.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

He and she become selective at different points; she can be selective when he wants his primary fantasy - sex; he can be selective when she wants her primary fantasy - commitment.