Joan Rivers Quotes

You are never so alone as when you are ill on stage. The most nightmarish feeling in the world is suddenly to feel like throwing up in front of four thousand people.

During my school days, I was doing a play, and my costume fell on the stage. I really wish it didn't happen.

I only did karaoke once in my life. It was with Courtney Love and it was a total disaster. She pulled me on stage in front of 500 people at a wedding. I'd never done karaoke before.

I was once doing an improv show and it was my turn to jump on stage and I fell on my face. It's a really terrible way to start a show.

I was on stage with Cyndi Lauper, and my trousers split. It seemed like she was going to sing for ever.

There are so many things that can go wrong while performing. I've had violin strings break; I've had pants that were slowly falling down, and I'd have to pull them up in between every song; my hairpiece was falling out, so a big chunk of hair was just flapping around as I danced, and I've completely fallen on my butt.

I don't really get embarrassed a lot because I feel like life goes on. I mean, I fell on stage one time; like, I tripped one time. My voice cracked... That's pretty embarrassing.

I had a dream I was onstage naked and I forgot how to play the songs.

People bursting into song in unison and then pointing it at me is maybe the worst thing I can think of, never mind that you have to pay good money to go be yelled/danced at.

In my senior year of high school, I was doing a dance with a bunch of friends for the talent show, and my pants split entirely in half. It was incredible.

I never sing out loud because I'm afraid people will go, 'Shut up!'

I feel like if I won an award and I was giving my speech and the music started, that's all I'd remember, the humiliation I felt when the music started. It would mar the entire experience for me.

When I was a kid, my dad kind of forced me to sing the third harmony for our little family group, and I just kind of hated it. I just felt so uncomfortable on stage, too shy.

My skirt fell off on stage during a performance of Hairspray on Broadway, revealing my fat suit over my own natural fat suit. I turned to the audience and said, 'Now you know why I spent six years in a square.'

In the summer after sixth grade, I took a class at St. Robert Bellarmine. My first role, I was the villain in a play, and I forgot all my lines. I think I cried my way through the performance.

When the attention is on me, off-camera, I get uncomfortable - sort of shy and at a loss for words, as you can probably tell?

I don't put myself through that nauseating experience of looking at someone's face while they go through your stuff. Ugh! It's just horrible! It gives me the cringes to even think about it.

During 'Saturday Night Fever' at the end of the first act dance number I tried to perform a split-jump, only I can't do them so I ended up on my ass followed by the most unsightly backward roll out of it, followed by the cast falling over in laughter and a good portion of the audience too.

I tell people that anything that could ever happen to you on stage has happened to me. My clothes have fallen off. I've fallen off the stage. I've gotten sick - anything.

I'm worried because of my mother, she's going to see my performance and she's quite hard. She's going to see me naked. And my Dad, woah. Yeah, they're going to see me like a woman, you know?

One time I laughed so hard, I just had to go and change my pantyhose. I lost it. Lost it. At least it wasn't onstage.

I'm too shy to do kissing scenes.

I shouldn't have acted. I didn't exhibit any ability. I was one of the kids in the school play who was just mouthing words, and they weren't the actual words of the song. I was pretty lame!

I've barfed in movies before. It seems like it always ends up being Campbell's soup mixed with something else.

I find just being on set embarrassing. Mortifying. And that's with all my clothes on.