Chuck Palahniuk Quotes

What joke can I say about Donald Trump that he hasn't said about himself? When he gets dressed, he comes out as Donald Trump. We've made fun of his hair for 30 years. It's still the same if not worse. There's nothing we could really say about him.

It is a strange enterprise to make respectable people laugh.

I love the way capitalism finds a place - even for its enemies.

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

You might find me outside with a can of hair spray, spraying it with the hope that the sun will burn a hole in the Earth. Another part of me hopes people will grow up and evolve and get smarter. That's the paradox of Marilyn Manson.

Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

The irony is that the people we tend to vote for actually look down on voters and voting. That's just idiotic, right? That's like a snake eating its own tail! A wolf in a trap gnawing off its own head to escape!

Laughable

There was a lot about the military that I thought was pretty silly, but these cartoons weren't meant to take a poke at anybody or anything. They were meant to make people laugh.

'The Ugly Truth' isn't trying to change the world with strong political opinions; it's just trying to entertain you with thoughts and ideas from my crazy mind!

I just love well-organized, very serious nonsense.

It's my job to be ridiculous.

Comedy is deep and wild and I am excited about the mysteries within.

Satire and comedy are really the only film mediums where you can get into ideas and have people leave the theater without being moralized.

Even for natives, French satire is rarely laugh-out-loud funny. Its unspoken punch line is typically that things have gone irrevocably wrong, and the government is to blame.

For a long time the IOC liked the idea of money but they didn't like the thought of working for it.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

The story of the whale swallowing Jonah, though a whale is large enough to do it, borders greatly on the marvelous; but it would have approached nearer to the idea of a miracle if Jonah had swallowed the whale.

Making fun of philosophy is really philosophising.

Man versus woman equals fun. Man versus man equals gay. Woman versus woman equals awesome. Man versus pillow equals crazy. Pillow versus pillow equals crazy awesome - that's a real pillow fight right there. You see two pillows fighting, you know something's going down. They're designed for relaxation. If they're fighting, what hope do we have? One time I saw two geese fighting, and I was like, 'This is a pillow fight ahead of time.

There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.

And the bigger the fall, the bigger the joke. It would be better fun to throw a custard pie at a bishop than at a curate.