Bob Greene Quotes

I haven't watched 'Mad TV' a lot, but I have seen some stuff on there that is truly funny. You have to have some sort of attitude toward the subject, and they seem to have it. It depends on how much blood you want to draw.

I consider myself to have a decent sense of humor. What's life without a sense of humor?

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.

On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

I need to think about 'Make sure you drink your water.' That's the kind of person I am.

I'm such a hater, and will hate on anything.

I'm a perfect example of the grumpy, old man. I'm really good at it.

Posturing is funny to me.

I think it has something to do with being British. We don't take ourselves as seriously as some other countries do. I think a lot of people take themselves far too seriously; I find that a very tedious attitude.

Cartoons are ridicule and satire by definition. A negative attitude is the nature of the art.

I'm kind of sarcastic. Not cynical but sarcastic.

I don't know how many bands I saw who would try to wreck a hotel room, but I never wrecked a hotel room in my life! If I'm gonna sit there and throw a TV out the window... if it's a good TV, maybe I should just take it home.

If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face because I'm lying.

I feel like I'm edgy and I'm funny and I got this bite, this outrageousness.

I like my smart-aleck self.

If you look at 'Network' or any kind of satire, it's fundamentally unemotional in some ways.

I try to think of school - this is going to sound awful - as something I do in my free time.

I have a very sardonic view of life.

I tend to do stuff that is in some way tongue in cheek or humorous or has a kind of wry side to it.

I love every bone in a woman's body, especially mine.

Whatever you are is all okay. I don't like you anyway.

Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone and hospitalized a brick.

Cynicism is the only form in which base souls approach honesty.