Demetri Martin Quotes

I don't know how one actually would define obscenity. I'm sure the definition is different according to the age one is living in.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?

Though children can accept adults as adults, adults can never accept children as anything but adults too.

Children have one kind of silliness, as you know, and grown-ups have another kind.

I used to be a child. It came naturally to me. I was an adult for a time, too. That came less naturally.

Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.

But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

I am curious about grownups, not children.

There are children born to be children, and others who must mark time till they can take their natural places as adults.

Age has extremely little to do with anything that matters. The difference between one age and another is, as a rule, enormously exaggerated.

You know what makes me feel old? When I see girls who are 20-something, or the new crop of actresses, and I think, Aren't we kind of the same age? You lose perspective. Or being offered the part of a woman with a 17-year-old child. It's like, "I'm not old enough to have a 17-year-old!" And then you realize, well, yeah, you are.

My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

The pleasures that once were heaven look silly at sixty-seven.

There are books that one needs maturity to enjoy just as there are books an adult can come on too late to savor.

I'm little but I'm old.

When I was born, I was almost fourteen years old. That's why I was able to understand more easily than most what it was all about.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

I am old enough to know that laughter, not anger, is the true revelation.

I don't think I'm going to get so mature that I lose touch with the whatever wounded part of myself that feels the need to be funny. I'm already old enough that I realize that's not going to happen.

The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind.

It had never occurred to him that the body of a woman of fifty, blown up to monstrous dimensions by childbearing, then hardened, roughened by work til it was coarse in the grain like an overripe turnip, could be beautiful. But is was so, and after all, he thought, why not?

Age is a matter of feeling, not of years.