Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

I haven't ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Did I not tell you earlier that a Jew is such a noble, precious jewel that God and all the angels dance when he farts?

To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct.

You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.

Write it as it is, don't try to make it like this or that. You can't do it in anybody else's way-you will have to make a way of your own.

Writing in a lot of ways feels more like excavation than construction. It feels like you're uncovering this thing bit by bit, discovering what it is, instead of constructing it upwards.

I write because I've always written, can't stop. I am a writing animal. The way a silk worm is a silk-producing animal.

The thing all writers do best is find ways to avoid writing.

There's no way I can stop writing, it's a form of insanity.

My tongue is prone to lose the way,Not so my pen, for in a letterWe have not better things to say,But surely put them better.

Only a God of love is fully personal. Thus the Trinity is crucial for maintaining a fully personal concept of God. As theologian Robert Letham writes, “Only a God who is triune can be personal.... A solitary monad cannot love and, since it cannot love, neither can it be a person.” Therefore it “has no way to explain or even to maintain human personhood.

Charlie Hebdo was and is not The Onion or "The Daily Show." This is a different kind of satire. Might I put it this way - less politically correct.

A lot of folks just get it in their head that, for instance, like writing memoirs is just easy. You just write down what happened. It doesn't quite work that way.

Daydreaming had started me on the way; but story writing once I was truly in its grip, took me and shook me awake.

What I do when I write is I just write the way I would tell it, so it comes out just exactly the way I would talk to you.

The Anglo-American tradition is much more linear than the European tradition. If you think about writers like Borges, Calvino, Perec or Marquez, they're not bound in the same sort of way. They don't come out of the classic 19th-century novel, which is where all the problems start. 19th-century novels are fabulous and we should all read them, but we shouldn't write them.

If you put anger in the writing, then it's like an actor crying on stage. The audience will not cry with the actor and in some way inure itself against the emotion.

The great thing about writing is that...you can do all these antisocial things and you get paid for them and nobody ever arrests you because they're all make-believe. Then that way if you were actually ever driven to do any of those things, the pressure's off because you'd have already written them down. It's therapy.

My last page is always latent in my first; but the intervening windings of the way become clear only as I write.

Learning to write sent me falling, falling through the surface of the South African way of life.

Updike worked this way, and I just kinda borrowed it from him. So the memoir will be relief from novel writing for a moment.

I let the music set the tone of the lyrics.I allowed myself to write more about relationships and emotions, in a girly way almost.