Melody Beattie Quotes

There are almost as many definitions of co-dependency as there are experiences that represent it.

It's a recurring thing: It's that I fall really deeply for bad relationships. It's just always been this way and not changing.

I believe I was a codependent out of the womb and have been struggling to free myself from its vice-like grip for many, many years.

Dysfunctional co-dependent relationships always appeal to me. I don't know exactly how it started. I start writing sketches of characters and little scene-lets, and then it builds.

Why do people stay in relationships that are tough from almost the very beginning?

When you live in an alcoholic family or an abusive family, you tiptoe, you don't want to step on any mines.

When he was on the streets, I was consumed with Nic. I was obsessed with him to the point that I could barely function.

Lis and I didn't talk for a year. I was in a relationship that wasn't good for me. I became isolated. I had nobody anymore, I only had my relationship.

It's possible to fall in love with somebody who doesn't treat us well, who makes us feel worse about ourselves, who doesn't hold the same respect for us as we do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life themselves that they threaten to bring us down with them.

Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it's true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others.

There's something very addictive about people pleasing. It's a thought pattern and a habit that feels really, really good until it becomes desperate.

When a person goes into a relationship emotionally needy, they are not going to have discernment in choosing people.

There's a fascinating school of thought that some women are relationship addicts. You get really strung out on a guy who's not returning your enthusiasm and tell yourself you're going to fix him and make him better, and of course it's impossible.

In Limerick, a family that was dysfunctional was one who could afford to drink but didn't.

I think there are people that have very addictive personalities.

I've dated a number of 'mama's boys.'

I had a mother who was very emotionally demanding, wanting to be the centre of attention. As they say in EastEnders, she thought it was all about 'er. I spent a lot of time trying to work out what was going on.

You cannot intellectualize yourself out of obsession. You cannot cure yourself of it.

I don't know how to have a normal relationship because I try to act normal and love from a normal place and live a normal life, but there is sort of an abnormal magnifying glass, like telescope lens, on everything that happens.

Families just have so many secrets and dysfunctions.

I've got an addictive personality.

I think I'm now screwed for life because my first relationship was the most bizarre relationship ever, and I'm not normal any more. I've kind of been spoiled, and I guess I am kind of screwed up now.

At home, my personal life was regularly falling apart, and from childhood on, I had a lot of chaos. I was addicted to chaos; I was addicted to self-harm, and I had to seek help at the hospital.

There have been a couple specific instances where I've felt like I couldn't survive without interacting with a certain person. I've been involved with some pretty manipulative people who have told me the same thought: that I can't live without them.

I come from a position where it seems like I have an addictive quality to everything in my life.