Steven Wright Quotes

My parents live right down the street from the house I grew up in.

Do you come here often?

I love Ladbroke Grove, but everyone knows where I live.

So yo then man what's your story?

Good?” Cam said. “Right?” I took another bite and nodded. “Well, I have a whole ton of them at home.” He stretched as he rolled up his napkin. “Just saying.

How ya doin'?' I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, 'A bit early to tell.

In dinner talk it is perhaps allowable to fling any faggot rather than let the fire go out.

You think that the heads of state only have serious conversations, but they actually often begin really with the weather or, 'I really like your tie.'

Making small talk about what someone is wearing is just another form of unsolicited feedback.

I live in Brooklyn.

Pretending is the grease of non-relationships. Pretending is how you and I get through the day without ever having to know each other. When I walk in the room, you say to me, 'How are you?' Well, you don't want to know. And, frankly, I don't want to tell you. So I just say, 'Fine,' and you go, 'Fine.' And off we go.

For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.

People can never work out where they know me from. They just come up and chat with me like mates.

There is nothing I hate more than meeting someone who has forgotten the art of conversing.

Spare a thought for the poor introverts among us. In a world of party animals and glad-handers, they're the ones who stand by the punch bowl. In a world of mixers and pub crawls, they prefer to stay home with a book. Everywhere around them, cell phones ring and e-mails chime and they just want a little quiet.

There's a difference between living somewhere and being part of somewhere.

I grew up in Far Rockaway and then Long Island.

When I see someone for the first time in a while, and they ask, 'How have you been?' or 'What have you been up to?', it's politeness but a bit of a conversation stopper.

I don't believe in calling someone and having a big chat, because that puts a lot of added pressure on them. If somebody is doing something or involved in fielding practice, then a little chit-chat at that time helps because it's informal and doesn't add any pressure.

Rather than pinpointing any particular part of the country as a place where the family lives, I would prefer to have readers think we live just down the street from their own home.

I live in Brooklyn; I live in Clinton Hill. I love it there.

I spend roughly two out of every three nights at my house in Indiana.

I lived in Barueri for a long time, and now I live in a city close to Barueri, so it's like my backyard.

American life is based on a reassurance that we like one another but won't violate one another's privacies. This makes it a land of small talk.

Florida's my home, and I've grown up in Florida for so long.