Christopher Moore Quotes

Tanushree Dutta is the real pig and not me. She is the sewer and not me. Just look at her face, she has become like a fat ugly buffalo.

What I love most about Norway is you ladies. Back home I'm used to fat and hairy women journalists.

Dory is what Mum used to call a "strong-looking woman," which means that, from the back, she looked like a man, and, from the front, you preferred the back

You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.

I opened the door. He looked down at my shirt and smiled. "Funny," he said. "Don't call my boobs funny," I answered.

If you make some comment even obliquely alluding to menstruation or menopause and its effect on my judgment," Murphy interrupted, "I will break your arm in eleven places.

Everyone knows ladies love Cajuns. It's in our blood and our language is the language of romance." "Your language is the language of bullshit. You're just a couple of good ole boys with pretty faces. Women just ought to know better.

Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.

Beulah has a husband?' I know. It's a miracle. There can't be more than two people on the planet who'd be willing to sleep with her, and here we are both in the same town.

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.

Enjoy the insult as you deliver it, before you learn its cost.

Why does Samuel Butler say, 'Wise men never say what they think of women'? Wise men never say anything else apparently.

She has great breasts," the Colonel said without looking up from the whale. "DO NOT OBJECTIFY WOMEN'S BODIES!" Alaska shouted. Now he looked up. "Sorry. Perky breasts." "That's not any better!

Happy Birthday To Steph, You're a Hoe with Big Breasts, so take the Night off from Hooking... If ya Smell what The Rock's cooking!

We've gotta dispense with calling guys who are effeminate or who throw like girls "sissies." You know why? Because that diminishes women, and that can lead to such things as you decking your woman in a hotel elevator in New Jersey with your fist.

Arianna Huffington is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man - he made a good decision.

A story once went the rounds of Israel to the effect that Ben-Gurion described me as 'the only man' in his cabinet. What amused me about is that he (or whoever invented the story) thought that this was the greatest compliment that could be paid to a woman. I very much doubt that any man would have been flattered if I had said about him that he was the only woman in the government!

Yes, men are pigs. Except your brother, of course. He's actually a decent human being. Almost a woman. -Jillian's mother

When I talk to a man, I can always tell what he's thinking by where he is looking. If he is looking at my eyes, he is looking for intelligence. If he is looking at my mouth, he is looking for wisdom. But if he is looking anywhere else except my chest he's looking for another man.

Would anyone else like to say anything nice about women?

What are you looking at sugar-tits?

I know, I've never had boobs before!

This is the woman's century, the first chance for the mother of the world to rise to her full place . . . and the world waits while she powders her nose.

Why do people think that it's appropriate to talk to me about my body? Why do men think it's appropriate to literally write comments that not only I will see but that the world will see about my breast size, the clothes I should be taking off, the kinds of things they want to see more of on Instagram, which all refer to my body. And that's not even getting into the threats of violence. And they come every day. They come every day. And it's wild to me that people think this stuff is appropriate.

Women truly are better than men. Otherwise, they'd be intolerable.