Groucho Marx Quotes

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I was never asked to join the Editorial Cartoonists Of America. No fraternity would have me in college, either. I think they know something.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Gentlemen, include me out.

I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.

In truth, I don't care about making feminism more accessible to anyone.

I always prided myself on being apart from the ruling class. I think it's always important, not just in Washington but in life, to be able to able to balance your sense of belonging with what it's like to be someone who doesn't belong.

I'm the kind of person who does not want to be anywhere that I'm not wanted.

It's a great country, where anybody can grow up to be president... except me.

I'm not invited. I'm not on the A list, haven't been on it in 20 years and my feet have never trod its red fluffy carpets.

When I reached adulthood, even now, I could afford to belong to a country club. But I could never belong to a private club because of my experience as a child, because it would isolate me from the whole of humanity.

Talent is very dangerous. It alienates people.

He’s on our side and that’s all that matters. Besides, one needn’t ask him to one’s club.

Manners have been somewhat cynically defined to be a contrivance of wise men to keep fools at a distance. Fashion is shrewd to detect those who do not belong to her train, and seldom wastes her attentions. Society is very swift in its instincts, and if you do not belong to it, resists and sneers at you, or quietly drops you.

Whatever you are is all okay. I don't like you anyway.

I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.

I'm not going into the cool club. It's not my address.

I don't go where I'm tolerated. I go where I'm celebrated.

I do beg you to have some regard for my pride. A million years? I assure you I would stop asking after the first thousand.

I snorted "oh, beauty. What's that good for?" Mary stared, her eyes round. "It won you the prince, did it not?" I snorted again, I prefer to think that he was captivated by my charming personality." I giggled to let Mary know I was trying to make fun of myself.

Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he’s a little bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties.

I mean, I am pretty fabulous. Am I not?' 'You're a pillar of fabulosity in the community,' I tell him.

I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.