John Mulaney Quotes

What a terrible world it would be if we only did films that were poster boards for political causes.

In order to be a great writer a person must have a built-in, shockproof crap detector.

Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.

Write good content about stuff that you love. Readers will find you.

When talented people write badly, it's generally for one of two reasons: Either they're blinded by an idea they feel compelled to prove of they're driven by an emotion they must express. When talented people write well, it is generally for this reason: They're moved by a desire to touch the audience.

Unless comedy touches me as well as amuses me, it leaves me with a sense of having wasted my evening. I go to the theatre to be moved to laughter, not to be tickled or bustled into it.

People should practice an art in order to make their souls grow and not to make money or become famous. Paint a picture. Write.

Writing, for me, is a combination of objective and subjective approach. You take an objective approach at times to get you through things, and you take a subjective approach at other times, and that allows you to find an emotional experience for the audience.

I like any and all of my associations with music: writing, playing, and listening. We write and play from our perspective, and the audience listens from its perspective. If and when we agree, I am lucky.

Color was not given to us in order that we should imitate Nature. It was given to us so that we can express our emotions.

Remember, with writing, what you’re looking for is just one person to come up and tell you, 'I love you for what you do.'

It's always fun to do something that you know ultimately is not about the money, and it's certainly not for the fame - because it's a pain in the ass. But it's really the person in the theater seat you think about when you sit in a room and write.

Balzac, you know, our great Balzac, he wrote interesting things about how in literature you keep distance in order to express great feelings. You have to keep a distance - and it's exactly the same with acting.

I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.

Painters and poets are obliged to exaggerate the proportions of their figures in order to give true perspective.

I write for fanboy moments. I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters that I am not. I write to explore all the things I'm afraid of. I write to do all the things the viewers want too. So the intensity of the fan response is enormously gratifying. It means I hit a nerve.

I honestly think that in order to be a writer you have to learn to be reverent. If not, why are you writing? Why are you here?

Those who perceive in themselves... the artistic vocation as poet, writer, sculptor, painter, musician, and actor feel at the same time an obligation not to waste this talent but to develop it, in order to put it to service of their neighbour and the humanity as a whole.

I have enjoyed writing songs for so long... it felt like in order to make music that I could relate to myself, I would have to be a part of the writing process.

Funny is funny. And if it's good, it travels.

I think there are probably just as many adults who would miss the humor of my books, if not more, as there are children.

Going back and forth between wanting to be respected artistically and wanting to move people is its own challenge.

We photograph things in order to drive them out of our minds. My stories are a way of shutting my eyes.