Fran Lebowitz Quotes

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.

I think the sort of person you want at a party is someone who is self-aware, polite and has a basic knowledge of table manners. And that goes for both men and women.

Women eat while they are talking; men talk while they are eating.

Elvis said, Miss Minnie, do you think it would be out of order if I go up and speak to General Stewart? I've always been such a fan of his. So Elvis went up to speak to the Stewarts.

I could better eat with one who did not respect the truth or the laws, than with a sloven and unpresentable person. Moral qualities rule the world, but at shorter distances, the senses are despotic.

When it came to, like, appropriate behavior towards one another, it was - I was well-versed.

A civil guest Will no more talk all, than eat all the feast.

Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke.

Be not forward, but friendly and courteous; the first to salute, hear and answer; and be not pensive when it is time to converse.

It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon.

The dinner table is the center for the teaching and practicing not just of table manners but of conversation, consideration, tolerance, family feeling, and just about all the other accomplishments of polite society except the minuet.

As a general rule, do not kick the shins of the opposite gentleman under the table, if personally unaquainted with him; your pleasantry is liable to be misunderstood--a circumstance at all times unpleasant.

There's times to be dainty and times to be a pig.

Well,” Waxillium said. “Perhaps I should begin by asking after your health.” “Perhaps you should,” Steris replied. “Er. Yes. How’s your health?” “Suitable.” “So is Waxillium,” Wayne added. They all turned to him. “You know,” he said. “He’s wearing a suit, and all. Suitable. Ahem. Is that mahogany?

Just because you're funny doesn't mean you get to be cruel.

And, for an unsurpassed double whammy, there is talking about eating while you are eating with friends.

Avoid banquets which are given by strangers an ignorant persons. But if there is ever occasion to join them, let your attention be carefully fixed, that you slip not into the manner of the vulgar (the uninstructed).

No rule of etiquette is of less importance than which fork we use.

...Everyone had to eat, but eating people wasn't polite.

Good general-purpose manners nowadays may be said to consist in knowing how much you can get away with.

A well-bred youth neither speakes of himselfe, nor being spoken to is silent.

I am one of those irritating people, who hang on to the door-knob after they say good-bye, and will neither come back nor go, always remembering something else which must be said.

Don’t look so upset,” Hyacinth said, once it was just the two of them again. “You’re quite a catch.” He looked at her assessingly. “Is one meant to say such things quite so directly?” She shrugged. “Not to men one is trying to impress.” “Touché, Miss Bridgerton.” She sighed happily. “My three favorite words.” Of that, he had no doubt.

His enemies might have said before that he talked rather too much; but now he has occasional flashes of silence, that make his conversation perfectly delightful.

Dogs are in on our human silliness; lions are not.