Erma Bombeck Quotes

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

Come, for my part I will have only those glorious, manly pleasures of being very drunk, and very slovenly.

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.

We must always make sure that our doctors work for their patients and not for the government

There is a pervasive lack of accountability in medicine that extends from the most newly qualified doctor right through the most senior professors.

... like Daniel Webster after taking a pint of brandy.

I totally deplore the notion of an M.D. giving pills to patients - a medical doctor giving psychological or psychoactive change agents to another person.

Doctors are kind of this shibboleth in our society. We know what they do, and we depend on them, but we don't know a lot about what it feels like from their side.

Do not meet or overtake a patient who is moving about in order to speak to him or to give him any message or letter. You might just as well give him a box on the ear. I have seen a patient fall flat on the ground who was standing when his nurse came into the room.

Don't be getting sloppy drunk and telling them dirty jokes.

On tour, I don't drink, because I don't think in any other job you are supposed to get to work and drink whisky.

I've found for playing that it's generally not a good thing to be drinking.

I thought everybody had to drink to be in this business.

I just couldn't handle people coming on to me with motives other than music.

You could be a corrupt doctor, but at least you have to go to the medical school first. Right?

Drinking makes people go out of control.

Alcohol is a class of drugs that we call 'the sedatives.' And what you're doing is just knocking your brain out. You're not putting it into natural sleep.

My dad was a doctor, and he would tell us a lot of nasty, funny stories from the hospital. It was funny to me when I'd go over to other people's houses and they didn't talk about intestines at the table.

Girls shouldn't drink because their bodies are not made for drinking and smoking.

I know that even a consensual relationship with a subordinate is inappropriate, but I still allowed it to happen despite my better judgment.

It's hard being a woman in this industry, period. A lot of the time, guys make you feel like you need to hook up with them - especially as an artist - producers and other artists trying to collaborate with them, they make you kinda feel sometimes you need to hook up with them or flirt with them just to make a song.

Back in the day, I was the first non-recovering doctor working in recovery. People would say, 'You can't do that! We need recovering guys in this.' But usually recovering doctors have a lot of baggage and so there's a certain amount of liability with a recovering doctor. But of course it can be ideal.

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

This warning from the New York City Department of Health Fraud: Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.

I find medicine is the best of all trades because whether you do any good or not you still. Get your money.