Maria Bamford Quotes

My mom is very excited for the fact that I got signed and, of course, being a mom, she's going to be a little worried.

I think it's probably a universal experience that all parents think they're not hovering, but perhaps we all are.

I'd probably be one of these terribly over-protective parents whose children become a neurotic wreck because they've never been exposed to real life.

I hate my name. Especially In Liverpool, when they say Hey, Reet... ' it sounds even worse. I don't think of myself as Rita Tushingham, but my mother'd have a fit if I changed it.

Annabeth Thalia and I hadn't seen each other in months but between the blizzard and the thought of what we were about to do we were too nervous to talk much. Except for my mom. She talks more when she's nervous. By the time we finally got to Westover Hall it was getting dark and she'd told Annabeth and Thalia every embarrassing baby story there was to tell about me.

We were at this point of recognisability where we couldn't even walk around anymore... I was really socially anxious and strange.

I ended up going to NYU for film school - close to Pennsylvania - but we talked about what if I went to UCLA or USC, and my mom's whole world was caving in.

I may be developing aerophobia as I get older, or maybe I'm just becoming middle aged, because I find flying an increasingly unpleasant way of travelling. I would much rather drive than fly.

Once, I was followed by a car when I was driving. Every time I sped up, the car sped up, and when I slowed down, it slowed down. Eventually, I stopped, got out and screamed, 'What do you want?' He said, 'I just wanted to give you some flowers because I'm such a fan.' I felt awful. He was just being kind.

I don't think we were shy so much as we were terrified. Especially when we did 'Saturday Night Live' on live TV. We looked really animatronic because we were scared, but it came off as being this alien sort of attitude, which served us well, because people were like, 'Whoa, this is so weird.'

They can't hang outside my hotel or come to the gym and stare at me for a half hour and expect me to be like, 'Cool. Awesome.'

I actually feel awkward being at the center of attention.

Nick's mother and I were attentive, probably overly attentive - part of the first wave of parents obsessed with our children in a self-conscious way.

When I wanted to join the Pandoras, my mom had an anxiety attack.

When I was 16, I was watching '101 Dalmatians,' and my mom never let me bleach my hair, so I told her I was going to dye my hair like Cruella De Vil; she didn't believe me. I came home with my hair like this, and she didn't talk to me for, like, a week. It was really hilarious.

I can never bring myself to watch Mahesh's films. It's way too stressful for me. All his family members are eager to attend and enjoy the previews of his films like normal people. But I sit at home chewing my nails, praying, wondering if this one will be as big as the previous one, and so on.

It was definitely tough being the coach's son.

After every screen test, my family would ask how it went, but I would just say that I didn't know.

I was going out with a few girls and we were in a local. A girl started shouting 'Gogglebox' at me and became really intimidating. I left but I lay awake crying, wondering if the girl knew where I lived.

My worst habit is probably awkward laughing. I always awkward laugh, like when you're talking to someone and no one is saying anything, so I'll do an awkward laugh. I wish I didn't do that.

I hate flying so I always drive.

I'm always anxious when it comes to my kids. This always makes me feel very vulnerable. Sometimes you think you aren't a good mama, you always feel a bit guilty when you're a mom. You want to be everywhere.

Tenterhooks are the upholstery of the anxious seat.

The psychological condition of fear is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.

I mean, my wife is always like - I don't write lyrics. So I couldn't, like, really technically write a song for anyone. I could write a very nice instrumental. So she always sort of gives me a hard time because it's just such a ridiculously impossible standard to live up to, that your step-dad wrote that song for your mom.