Mallory Ortberg Quotes

I'm a way bigger worrier than I ever was before I had kids. And, you know, the stress and anxiety that can go along with motherhood, I have had to battle that.

I'm terrified for what is in store for me as a parent!

I think it is since I became a parent that I am much more afraid.

The fears and anxieties and obsessions wrapped up in being a parent.

For plain and fancy worrying, give me a new mother every time.

I didn't start sweating until I had children. That was one of the first things I realized when my daughter Violet was born - I started getting wicked BO. You know there's a difference between basketball BO and stress BO? This was definitely stress BO. Like, new dad BO.

Everyone worries about their kids, of course, but you can drive yourself nuts thinking about all the horrible things in the world - and many, many people do. I believe life is to be lived and not survived.

Actually, I didn't start sweating until I had children.

Don't ever have children, Tyler, unless you're ready to be afraid everyday for the rest of your life.

I'm planning to give up worrying. I want to, but I'm worried I won't be able to.

I was so completely anxious before I had a child, but now my biggest worry is something happening to her, so anything other than that I can handle. That's not to say I'm calm, because that would be b****cks! I wish it were the case, but it's getting better as I get older.

Having a little boy has taken me to a very deep place. I am starting to realize everything I ever worried about was such a waste of time.

I worry too much.

I was a mother who worked ridiculously hard to keep catastrophe at bay. I didn't allow my kids to eat hamburgers for fear of E. coli. I didn't allow them to play with rope, string, balloons - anything that might strangle them. They had to bite grapes in half, avoid lollipops, eat only when I could watch them.

I think you realise how terrifying and scary the world is when you're bringing kids into it.

There is nothing like becoming a mom to fill you with fear.

I'm a worry-wart, I'd say.

I definitely had those moments, like any actor, when you get anxious and think, 'When am I going to work again?' But I would feel that way even when I had every offer in the world coming to me. Then I became a father and I felt a little more of the anxiety that came with the responsibility of being a parent.

I do worry - a lot.

Everyone says that when you have kids, you become crazy.

I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.

I am someone who worries a lot. I'm always worrying 'what if?' Now I'm a mum - there will be worries for the rest of my life, but they're not about me anymore.

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.

If you are a good person, you will probably be a good father. Try not to worry too much. If you don't feel apprehensive just before your first child arrives, you are abnormal. Though catastrophe doesn't come as often in childbirth as it did a few generations ago, we naturally fear it.

Billy is a funny, cheeky, lovely boy and I love being with him. Parenthood is terrifying though. I can barely walk past a building without panicking that it's going to collapse on his head.