Jim Jefferies Quotes

When something is not good, it's bad. Period.

You aren't ill: it is just that you are made of second-rate materials.

I probably have the worst wardrobe. It's the most ill-fitting with the worst patterns and colors and the most nipple rubbage. There's bad chafing, and it's always tight in all the wrong places. What's sad is that I'm kinda getting used to it.

The seafood in England is sad.

Burroughs is crap. Crap.

To be honest, I think bananas are a pathetic fruit.

Throwaway pens are no good - I never liked them. I've tried them all.

I hope she misses the cut. She doesn't belong here.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Alan Greenspan is unskilled; you don't take the unskilled seriously.

Tang sucks.

I can't stand jelly shoes. They're ugly and not comfortable.

But the Milanese have made bad choices, bad fashion, and bad jewelry.

The status quo sucks.

Historically, software for business was seen as unsexy because the products were seen as so poor - they provided such a poor user experience.

Nicey nicey just doesn't do it for me.

What I have crossed out I didn't like. What I haven't crossed out I'm dissatisfied with.

Using these toolkits is like trying to make a bookshelf out of mashed potatoes.

I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.

Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation's highest office.

We're not big on taste. And actually, if you don't pander to undue sensitivities, then it ends up usually not being much of a problem.

I really cringe at the sight of pattypan squash. So pretty and cute and having no taste or exciting texture. Dull.

Peas are terrible and a joke food.

Fried vegetables, often overbattered and undercooked, tend to disappoint me with their tough or soggy crusts.

Plane food is terrible.